Baby Grayson.

I'm usually a very private person, but God has put it in my heart to share with you all what's been going on in my life. On October 10th I found out we were expecting our first child due on June 22,2012. Last week I started experiencing some complications. I woke up around 6 am on Saturday because I had a dream. I dreamt we were in the hospital and they were bringing the baby into the room. We had a boy and named him Grayson, which was weird because we had planned to name our first boy Connor. He was beautiful. He had light brown hair and baby blue eyes. I couldn't go back to sleep because I couldn't shake the feeling that the baby was gone, I felt empty inside. I wanted to tell Samuel but I didn't want to scare him so I only shared the dream. On Monday we learned that we had lost our baby two weeks ago at 8 weeks and 3 days, he looked perfect but he had no heartbeat. I know it was God that sent me that dream Saturday to allow me to see my baby and I can't thank him enough for that opportunity. Even though God had prepared me for Monday through my premonition and the dream provided closure and peace in my heart, it is still the most emotionally painful experience I have ever endured. I have to tell you, that I still can't say it enough, God is so so so good. I am so blessed to have such a great doctor, supportive family and friends, we have a nice home, food in the pantry, brand new cars, amazing jobs. God is good!!! I can't even imagine what it was like for Job back in the Old Testament, through no fault of his own Job lost his family, wealth, and his health. Sometimes things happen for reasons we can't explain and it doesn't mean than God is unjust or that we are being punished. God has a much greater plan than small picture we are able to see. We are each one stroke in the masterpiece that He has created and if my suffering can be used for God's glory, then I am honored to be a part of the bigger picture. We thank you all for your loving thoughts and prayers. It's still rough but we are getting though it by the grace of God. When I get discouraged I read Psalms 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. That verse reminds me to continue blessing God even through the storm. I hope I reached someone out there. Talk to you soon friends! :)